The Army Comes Calling Read online

  “You have good habits? Name one.”

  “Well, I can fix things around the house.”

  “Usually those things only need to be fixed because you were messing with them to begin with. Try again.”

  “Well, I’m cleaner than most men. You never see my dirty clothes scattered around the house like a lot of other guys’.”

  “That’s only because I follow you around and pick up behind you. Try again.”

  “Well, I’m as handsome as a movie star. I make good eye candy for you when we go out.”

  Sarah started to comment, then thought better of it. She bit her tongue and said simply, “Try again.”

  Bryan looked crestfallen, but only for a moment.

  “I can make you make that funny face.”

  “What funny face?”

  “That funny face you make in the bedroom. The one I think is so cute. The face you tell me that you’ve never made with any other man. You know, when your ears turn red and your eyes start to twitch and you scrunch up your nose and look like an old hound dog in pain…”

  “Okay, okay, I get the picture.”

  “Are you sure? Because I can go on.”

  “No, that’s okay. Baby, it’s just that someday we’ll have children. And I don’t want them to pick up your bad habits.”

  “I’ll tell you what. When the kids are born I’ll stop talking with my mouth full. Okay?”

  “How about there won’t be any kids until you stop talking with your mouth full?”

  “Are you implying that you’ll stop making that funny face for me?”

  Sarah paused. She enjoyed the funny face at least as much as he did. Maybe her idea wasn’t the best.

  So she came up with a better one.

  “How about you work on it, with the understanding that after the kids are born, I will kick you under the table every time you do it?”

  “Deal.”

  Sarah had seen the deal as progress.

  Bryan saw it as a free pass to talk and eat at the same time, until their first child came along.

  “Okay, John would like to start the meeting with a couple of proposals.”

  There was an audible groan from the back of the room, followed by some chuckles.

  Everyone in the compound loved John. His only relative among the group was his daughter, Sami. But most of the others looked to him as a father figure. He was wise beyond his years and an angel of a man.

  The problem was, usually he spoke at a meeting it was to ask them to implement new security procedures, or to chastise them for not abiding by the ones already in place.

  “Wow,” he said. “You guys really know how to make a man feel welcome.”

  More chuckles.

  “I suppose you all think I’m going to start by asking to increase security. But you’re wrong. Dead wrong, and you’ve hurt my feelings. You really have.”

  No one was buying it.

  “I was going to start by telling you how much you all mean to me. Each and every one of you.”

  He looked at Bryan.

  “Well, maybe not every one of you. But nearly all of you. You each brighten my day in your own special way, and every night when I hit my knees I thank God above for bringing each of you into my life.”

  They still weren’t buying it.

  “Now with that being said, I’d like to move on to my next item of discussion. I’d like to continue to keep half of the livestock and half of our seed stores in the mine indefinitely, and we’ll need everyone’s help to make that happen.”

  The groan emanated from the back of the room again, this time accompanied by several “I knew it…” glances.

  John ignored them and went on.

  “I felt that the time I spent with Colonel Montgomery was productive. I learned a lot about what’s going on in the world, and specifically about the dire circumstances in San Antonio and Bexar County.

  “And I got the impression that Colonel Montgomery, although a bit gruff, is a good and decent man. Yes, we got off to a rocky start. But now I feel we can trust him when he says he won’t ask anything else of us.

  “However…”

  One of the best things that made John an excellent security manager was his ability to second guess his own estimations. He was his own devil’s advocate.

  “However, even though I consider myself an excellent judge of character, I am not flawless to that regard. Flawless in every other way, sure, but not in that one.”

  There were a couple of guffaws and a lot of smiles. The mood in the room overall was joyful, since everyone thought they’d dodged a bullet when the Army didn’t cause trouble for them.

  “I could be wrong about Montgomery. I doubt it, but one thing I’m not willing to do is to gamble the rest of our livestock and seeds. If we bring everything back into the compound, and then the Army returns and is able to take over the place, then we’ve lost it all.

  “And if that happened because I was hoodwinked by Montgomery, I’d never be able to look any of you in the eyes again.

  “Before I open it up for discussion, let me give you a second reason I’m advocating this.

  “Even if Montgomery is honest and forthright, he still has to answer to higher authority. Granted, a bird colonel is pretty high in the food chain. But he’s still got a general he reports to. So even if his intentions are good, he can still be overruled and ordered to come back in and take our stuff.

  “And those of you who have served in the Army know how bad they are about constantly changing their minds and shifting directions.

  “Okay, now it’s your turn to tell me I’m an overcautious nervous Nellie.”

  Brad stood and spoke.

  “Well, you’re right. You are a nervous Nellie. In this instance, though, I agree with you. But I’d like to hear more details about what you’re proposing before I give your idea my vote.”

  “Quite simply, I’m proposing that the livestock in the mine stay there. Forever. Same with the seeds that are there. And new animals that are born there will live out their lives in the mine. That way, six months from now, or even six years from now, they’re still safe if the Army changes its mind.”

  Sami asked, “What about the animals that are in the compound?”

  “We’ll leave them there. The Army already knows we have them. If they showed up and they were gone, they’d demand to know where they went. And in all likelihood, they wouldn’t stop searching until they found them.

  “But by leaving them there, if they ever do come back, they’ll likely just take the ones in the compound and leave us in peace. They’ll think we have nothing else to give them, and hopefully they’ll leave us alone.”

  Sarah, one of the most kind-hearted of the bunch, said, “I don’t know, John. I see what you’re saying. And it makes sense. But put yourself in the animals’ shoes. How would you like it if you never saw the sunshine, or the stars at night? If you never got to munch on fresh grass, or to run through a pasture?”

  John smiled.

  “Well, first of all, animals don’t wear shoes. If I could put myself in their hooves, I’d likely say that if I was born into the mine, that would be the only world I knew. I wouldn’t even know that sunshine or fresh grass even existed. So how could I possibly miss it?”

  He noticed a distinct look of sadness that had come over Sarah’s face.

  “Look, honey. You’re a real sweetheart, and it’s admirable that you’re looking out for the animals’ well being. And I don’t mean to make light of your argument. But the sad fact is, these aren’t pets. They’re food. And their whole purpose for being is to provide us nourishment in the future. We can’t do that if we return them all to the compound and then the Army comes back and confiscates them.”

  David added his two cents.

  “When I was just out of high school, I worked for a company that grew hogs for slaughter. They had four huge barns, each one as big as a football field. The pigs were born in the barn and grew up in a tiny pen, until th
ey were fat enough to slaughter. Then they were herded through a narrow chute eighty yards to the slaughterhouse next door.

  “Those eighty yards were the only sunshine those hogs ever saw in their whole lives. And they only saw it because they were on their way to die.

  “My point is that the meat industry has always been rather brutal. When we went to a restaurant and ordered a burger or a steak, we never saw the harsh reality of the industry that provided them for us. Maybe we just chose not to. Maybe it was easier to look the other way, than to acknowledge that livestock animals weren’t treated very well.”

  Bryan added, “And remember al those animals we raised and ate during the six and a half years before we broke out of the mine. Very few of them ever saw the light of day. They were born there, raised there, and eaten there, and none of them knew any better. Never once, when I was slaughtering a pig or a chicken, did they look at me and say, ‘Gee, I wish I had lived long enough to see the sunshine.’”

  Bryan’s joke fell flat, as they frequently did. The room was momentarily silent, and Sarah shot daggers at him. So did her best friends, Hannah and Sami.

  Hannah came to her aid.

  “Oh, don’t be a putz, Bryan. All Sarah is saying is that the animals give us their all… quite literally… so that we can get nourishment from them. The least we can do is give them something in return.”

  “That’s just it, Hannah. We do. From the time they’re born, we give them nourishment. We give them safety from predators and protection from the weather. We give them water to drink, and companionship, and the chance to find a mate and to further their species. We provide their nourishment, and when the time comes, they do the same for us. And not one of them is smart enough to know that they’re not being treated like kings.”

  Sarah lost her argument. The room fell silent once again and she sat back down to sulk. She resolved to try, in her own way, to be nice to the animals in the mine. Whether to pacify her own guilt for losing her argument, or to maintain her grasp on humanity, she’d find a way somehow to let the animals know they were appreciated.

  She looked at John and shrugged, conceding the fight. John felt bad for her, but took her shrug as a sign to move on.

  Chapter 14

  “What’s involved in all of this, John? I mean, you said it would require us to help out. But if the livestock’s already over there, what else is there to do that we’re not already doing?”

  “Well, when we put half the herds back over there we just put enough feed to last them for a few weeks. The first thing we’ll need to do is load a truck full of hay from one of the barns and a truck full of feed from the other one. We’ll have to drive the trucks over to the mine and then unload them again.

  “That’s the bulk of it. Once the feed is there, we’ll schedule people to go over twice a day to feed and water them. We’ll have one milk cow over there as well as the one here, so we’ll need someone to go over there each morning to milk her and lug the milk back. If he or she can lug the eggs back as well, that would be great. Otherwise, we’ll need someone to gather the eggs each morning.

  “The only other thing we’ll need are people to go on ‘birth watch’ a couple of times a month.”

  Bobby asked from the back of the room, “Birth watch? What the heck is that?”

  Debbie stood up to explain, and John yielded the floor to her.

  “One of the big things we didn’t have when we came in here was a trained veterinarian. But Hannah and Sarah did think to do a lot of research on basic animal care and animal husbandry, and they printed it all out. They also stocked several books on livestock care in our little library.

  “I’ve been reading up on all the material so I can do many of the things a vet would do if he were here. And it turns out that physiologically, cows and pigs aren’t that different from humans. We have the same basic organs and bodily functions, and while those organs look nothing alike, they essentially function the same way.

  “When we were all in the mine, waiting for the world to thaw, we lost a couple of cows and three pigs due to complications during birth. Now that I’m learning about common birth problems, and how to deal with them, I’d like to see what I can do to keep it from happening again.

  “One of the things I’ve learned is how to tell when a sow or a cow is within days of giving birth. I don’t want to gross anybody out so soon after having breakfast, but it has to do with measuring the amount of swelling and dilation of certain things.

  “Anyway, whenever a cow or a sow is within a couple of days of giving birth, I’ll want volunteers to sit over there with them and read a book or watch TV or whatever, and just basically keep an eye on them. When they start to give birth, all you have to do is call me on the radio and I’ll come running. Just to oversee the process and help them if they need it.”

  Debbie looked around. There didn’t seem to be any more questions, so she sat back down.

  John finished up his spiel.

  “Okay, I’d like everyone’s support in approving this measure. If we approve it, I’ll ask for volunteers, and we might be able to provide for everything with the volunteers. If it’s approved, however, and we don’t get enough volunteers, then each of you can expect to be tasked to pull your fair share.”

  As John took his seat, Mark rose and asked if there were any other comments.

  He stared out at a sea of blank faces.

  “Okay, then, it’s time to vote. Karen, would you mind taking the count for us?”

  “No problem.”

  “All those in favor of John’s proposal, raise your hand.”

  “All those opposed?”

  Karen finished her counts and said, “Twenty one for, none against.”

  It turned out that the group not only loved John like a father. They also apparently had a great deal of respect for his judgment.

  “Okay, the motion carries. Anyone who wishes to volunteer to help, see John. He’ll make out the work schedules, and will have the authority to task people to fill any shortfalls. Now, we’ll move on to other business…”

  Chapter 15

  John’s first volunteer was Hannah, who saw the opportunity to teach little Markie a few things about raising livestock and the circle of life.

  The two made a new habit of walking through the tunnel to the mine every evening after they finished their dinner.

  Hannah watched each day as Markie measured out four scoops of chicken feed and dumped it into a bucket.

  Then she stood back and watched as he strolled among the chickens, tossing out the feed as though he were on a parade float tossing candy to masses of children.

  “You only get a little,” be said as he tossed half a handful in front of a very aggressive hen. “You always try to steal everybody else’s anyway.”

  Hannah stifled a laugh. Little Markie was getting more and more like his father every day.

  And he was getting inquisitive too.

  “Mommy, how will we know when Rusty the bull is gonna have a baby?”

  “Oh, honey. I told you never to name the animals.”

  “How come?”

  “Because if you name them, you may get too close to them. And some day, when it comes time for your daddy and Uncle Bryan to kill them so we can eat them, then it might make you sad.”

  “It won’t make me sad. I love hamburgers.”

  “Still, let’s not name the animals, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He paused, but for only a short moment.

  “Well then, how do we tell when the bull I used to call Rusty is gonna have a baby?”

  “Bulls don’t have babies, honey. Only cows have babies.”

  “How come?”

  “Well, they’re sort of like people. With people, boys can’t have babies. Only girls can. Bulls are like boys and cows are like girls. Now do you understand?”

  She was hoping he would, and would move on to another subject.

  She wasn’t so lucky.

  “So, ho
w do you know which ones are boys and which ones are girls?”

  Hannah rolled her eyes and wondered why Mark was never around when she needed him.

  “Well, honey, they look different. Underneath. Like, for example, if you look at Rusty the bull underneath, he looks different than Daisy the cow.”

  “I thought you said we weren’t supposed to name the animals. How come you can call him Rusty and I can’t?”

  She was a little bit relieved that he changed the subject, and hoped it wasn’t only temporary.

  “You’re right. I shouldn’t call them names either. Fair is fair.”

  “When you said they look different underneath, did you mean because one of them has a penis and the other one doesn’t?”

  Hannah was just a bit shocked, and stammered for the right words.

  “How… where did you learn about penises, young man?”

  “From Uncle Bryan. He told me all about them. Do you wanna know what else he taught me about?”

  “No… definitely not. Let’s get back to the cow question you asked. Boy cows, or bulls, cannot get pregnant. Only girls can. And you can tell they are when their tummy starts to swell. You’ve seen women who were pregnant before, right?”

  “Nope. Never.”

  “Well, I mean, you’ve seen some women in movies who were pregnant, right?”

  “Like Mrs. Haney in Blind Man’s Bluff?”

  “Yes. Exactly.”

  “Her tummy got gynormous. Is Daisy the cow gonna get like that? I mean, is the cow that doesn’t have a name gonna get like that?”

  “Maybe, maybe not. We’ll have to wait and see. But let’s talk more about that later. Right now we need to finish up so we can get back to the big house.”

  “Why, Mommy? Why do we have to hurry back?”

  “Because Mommy wants to beat up your Uncle Bryan.”

  Chapter 16

  Weeks went by and calm, as well as a bit of monotony, returned to the compound.

  Colonel Montgomery never returned, the team caring for the livestock in the mine was settling into their new routine, and all was right with the world.